


obmeowsly

by adamantine



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Catboy Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimilix NSFW Bingo (Fire Emblem), M/M, Magic Curses, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Post Azure Moon Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:42:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamantine/pseuds/adamantine
Summary: A curse turns Felix into a catboy. When he finds out how to remove it, he decides he’ll just live like this actually, it’s fine.Written for Dimilix NSFW Bingo ^__^Prompts: Non-human, Edging, Sex Comedy (Cringe)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 22
Kudos: 104
Collections: Dimilix NSFW Bingo





	obmeowsly

**Author's Note:**

> this is as self-indulgent as i get

Over the years Felix has been stabbed, kicked, punched, shoved, burned, tossed, pierced, battered, stepped on, and (on one memorable occasion) electrocuted. The aforementioned incidents obviously were never pleasant—sometimes erring on the side of being excruciatingly painful actually—but at least they left him with his dignity intact. He can’t say the same for his current injury.

The snickering that erupts when he enters the council room has him reaching for the sword at his hip with a murderous glare in his eyes. He wants to stab the whole lot of them—it would serve them right for laughing at an injured man, however unconventional his injuries may be.

“Felix, you’re here,” Dimitri says in surprise.

Felix’s ears automatically turn toward Dimitri. “Where else would I be?” he snaps as he crosses the room to take his place at Dimitri’s side.

“Ah—well. I thought perhaps you’d remain in the infirmary until the curse wore off.”

“What for? I can still perform my duties.” His tail flicks in irritation, accidentally smacking Dimitri on his side.

Somebody giggles. Before being hit by an unknown curse, Felix’s normal, human ears wouldn’t have been able to hear the sound. Unfortunately for the Lady laughing at his expense, Felix can hear her as if she’s sitting in the front row. He sends her his best look of reproach.

“As long as you feel up to it. Your unique insight has been sorely missed.”

Felix’s ears relax, though his tail continues to sway. It’s frustrating how little control he has over his new appendages. They move without his input and in ways he doesn’t always understand. He doesn’t like it. Not one bit.

The meeting passes by without any major incidents. There are more giggles at his expense, and more pointed glares he sends in retaliation, but that’s the limit of his humiliation. Cat ears (and tail) or not, he’s still Duke Fraldarius, right-hand man to the King of Fódlan.

_You mean right-paw?_ a voice (that sounds suspiciously like Alois) says in his head. Felix scowls. He’ll have to give Alois a piece of his mind the next time they meet.

It’s normal for him to stay and speak privately with Dimitri after council meetings, providing his insight on the matters discussed. He waits as he usually does for the room to clear, naïvely believing he’s safe from further embarrassment for the day. Dimitri has been gracious about his curse so far. He can’t say the same for the rest of their friends. Even Dedue, in all his stoic glory, breaks down in his equivalent of fits of laughter when he sees Felix.

(“Meow?” he said before covering his mouth, the mirth in his eyes obvious. It was still better than Ingrid who laughed so hard she fell off her pegasus.)

“Are you sure you’re feeling well enough to stay?” Dimitri asks.

“It doesn’t hurt, Dimitri. They’re just ears and a tail. They’re more annoying than anything.”

“That’s—that’s good then.” Dimitri clears his throat. “About what Lord Sinnoch proposed—“

Debating Lord Sinnoch’s proposal takes all of Felix’s focus. He attacks its weaknesses, pointing out where it will fail unless they alter it, and listing which people it will anger even if it’s enacted faultlessly. If controversy can be generated when Dimitri signs off on building orphanages and feeding the poor, then truly no policies are universally popular no matter how humane and needed they are.

As the minutes tick by, Felix relaxes. He forgets about his strange new ears and the tail protruding from his back. His attention is on policy, on debating Dimitri and doing what’s best for their people.

It’s a negligence on his part, and one he pays for dearly when a hand grabs his tail and _pulls_.

The sensation is so strange it takes him a moment to realize what’s happening. His hips raise off his chair in response before his mind catches up to inform him Dimitri, the King of Fódlan, is _playing with his tail,_ and instead of it feeling awful and violating it feels horribly, wonderfully, _good_.

Felix yowls and leaps out of his chair, yanking his tail out of Dimitri’s grasp in the process.

“What are you _doing_?” he screeches. His ears go flat, their tips pointing backward.

“My apologies, Felix. I don’t know what came over me.” He bows his head in supplication.

Felix isn’t impressed by his apologetic act one bit. “I’m not a beast for you to touch as you please!”

“I know, I know. I wasn’t trying to imply—“

“Save it! I don’t want your excuses!”

His tail thrashes behind him as he storms out of the room to find somewhere he can sulk and forget what it feels like when Dimitri pulls his tail.

_____

“I’ve figured out how to remove the curse but–“ Annette squeals, turning a fascinating shade of red not far from her hair color. “Oh, why did you have to get cursed? Stupid, stupid Felix!”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” Felix’s patience–already stretched thin at the best of times—threatens to snap the longer she delays providing the results of her research into his curse.

“I know that! Ugh! Are you sure you want to remove it? It can’t be that bad, right?”

“ _Annette_.” His tail lashes, punctuating his annoyance.

“It was just a suggestion! Ugh. If you weren’t _you_ , the curse would probably be lifted already. I wouldn’t need to have this conversation with Sylvain!”

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

“Would you stop thrashing your tail! It’s so distracting.”

“As I’ve said several times, I have no control over it.” It was near impossible to have a straight conversation with Annette when she was flustered. “Stop changing the subject. How do I lift the curse?”

“Ugh! Fine! Read it yourself.”

She shoves a heavy tome into his hands and flips it open to the bookmarked page of a spell. On one page is text, presumably of the spell. On the other page are illustrations of people with various animal features. He doesn’t see anyone with his specific affliction—the closest is a scantily clad woman with a fox tail and ears but her tail is much fluffier than his.

“Are you sure this is the right spell?” he says, puzzling over the illustrations. A man with dog features wears a collar and a leash with a dazed look in his eyes. A woman with bunny features poses in such a way that it puts her tail—among other things—in focus.

“I wish it wasn’t,” Annette groans, “but it’s definitely it. It matches the sample you gave me.”

Confirmed then, despite the strangeness of the illustrations, as Annette is always thorough in her magical research.

He turns his attention to the spell. The words are nearly printed in a beautiful, ornate script that is difficult to decipher. He progresses slowly, which makes the reading of it worse.

“What,” Felix says through gritted teeth, “kind of spellbook is this.”

“Don’t make me say it!” she squeaks, hiding her face.

Felix closes the spellbook and sees the words _Magic for the Bedroom ♡_ boldly engraved on the cover in gaudy gold foiling.

“Who else knows about this?” If word gets out—his reputation will never recover.

“I haven’t told anyone, I swear it! But, Felix, you read the whole spell, right? The effects will wear off if you—“

“Yes, I read it thank you! But that won’t be happening. You’re right. I’ll just have to get used to this form.” He crosses his arms, all too conscious of his tail thrashing in slow, angry arcs behind him.

Annette’s face at his proclamation is somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “ _Felix_. Don’t be absurd. I know I suggested it but I was only joking! The spell isn’t meant to be kept up for so long. There could be lasting side effects if you don’t take care of it soon. I know it’s awkward but if you don’t have someone that can help, there are, um, establishments for this sort of thing.”

“Annette!” He can’t believe it. Every second he thinks his mortification can’t grow worse, something decides to prove him wrong.

“I’m not saying I know any such places! I’m just saying they exist. Sylvain can probably help you.”

“Sylvain?” His tail puffs up in shock and horror.

“With finding an establishment! Stop glaring at me.” She snatches away her horrible, disgusting, disgraceful, possibly illicit spellbook from his hands. “You’re so mean. Stay cursed then! But don’t say I didn’t warn you if you turn into a housecat one day. All because you wouldn’t—”

“Annette!”

_____

As the title of the spellbook suggests, the curse afflicting Felix isn’t meant to cause harm—quite the opposite, actually. With the right partner, the spellbook boasts, the curse is incredibly enjoyable. (It’s at this point in reading the ground seems to disappear from under Felix.)

The animal characteristics brought out by the spell are a reflection of the afflicted person’s “inner self” and can’t be chosen or changed. A fact that leaves Felix especially incensed as he isn’t anything like a cat. Obviously, there’s some sort of mistake or limitation with the spell as a wolf would be much more fitting. Regardless, while all of this is bad enough, but the real kicker to the spell is that the only way it wears off is after intercourse.

No, the spellbook confirms what Felix unfortunately already knows, the spell won’t wear off from a solo performance. _At least two people must participate, though more are welcome!_ the spellbook cheerfully lists.

Yes, it’s at this point in reading he begins to take his ire out on Annette. He knows it’s not her fault he’s cursed but it _is_ her fault he knows the truth of it. He could have lived in ignorance if not for her.

Three days have passed since she stormed out on him muttering things he cares not to repeat. He can’t believe she suggested he go to a brothel to get rid of the curse. First, it’s upsetting she knows what a brothel is, and second, there’s a very good reason he wants to avoid any carnal activities while the spell is still active but he can’t exactly _explain_ the reason why to her without undergoing further embarrassment. He hasn’t dared admit to anyone the full extent of the changes to his anatomy. Namely, he leaves out the part about having a barbed cock. The idea of explaining his cock is barbed to a brothel worker is so mortifying he can’t imagine ever becoming erect after the conversation, no matter how skilled the worker is, and if that happens he simply will have to leave Fódlan forever.

He supposes he’ll just have to accept turning into a housecat or whatever it is that will happen to him because he can’t lift the curse. Unfortunate, but these things happen.

A knock on his door startles him out his morose thoughts.

“Felix? Can we speak?”

“No,” Felix says, opening the door to find Dimitri hovering outside his quarters, his guards standing a respectful distance away.

“Ah, but you opened the door?” His eye flickers to Felix’s ears; they must be doing _something_ because upon viewing them Dimitri breaks out into a smile.

Felix covers his ears and scowls. “What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“If you insist.” His tail swats Dimitri as he stands aside to let him in. Dimitri refrains from commenting on it but there’s something _knowing_ in his expression Felix doesn’t like.

Felix slams the door closed, rattling the swords hanging on the wall.

His quarters in the castle are the same set of rooms that have been dedicated to every Fraldarius before him. Though not luxurious by any means they’re not far from the royal apartments and, previously, were considered an unusual privilege of House Fraldarius. Since the war’s end, all of the former Blue Lions have been given rooms in the castle to use at their discretion; though other than himself, only Dedue and Ingrid stay in them with any permanence.

“Well? Speak your mind,” Felix says as they settle into his drawing room.

“I came to apologize for my actions the other day.”

“Why? You already did that.” His tail flicks against the sofa.

“While that’s true, you’ve been avoiding being alone in my company since then, so I can’t help but feel I’ve lost your trust.”

“Hmph. How presumptuous of you to assume you ever had it.”

“I spoke with Annette,” he announces. Felix blanches. “She says you have the ability to remove the curse, you’re just refusing to.”

“I’m not refusing. I’m simply uncomfortable with the suggested method of removal.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

He imagines it for a moment, Dimitri _helping_ him remove the curse. His heart thunders in his chest. “No! Absolutely not. Did Annette put you up to this?”

“What? She didn’t put me up to anything. Felix, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything.” He stands and paces the drawing room in agitation. Perhaps he should visit a brothel after all; it might get these inappropriate thoughts of Dimitri out of his head.

“Felix, tell me what’s going on." Dimitri grabs his arm lightly, stopping him in his tracks. His face scrunches up in worry as his eye flickers between Felix’s ears and tail.

He looks so pathetic it loosens Felix’s tongue.

“It’s a stupid sex spell, okay! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to ask Sylvain where to find a brothel.”

Instead of letting Felix go and moving out of the way, Dimitri stands there mouth gaping open like one of the Archbishop’s mounted fish. Whatever Dimitri is imagining is probably worse than the truth, so Felix lets out a long suffering sigh before explaining—painfully and through gritted teeth—the condition that must be met in order to break the spell.

“So your solution," Dimitri asks when he finishes eviscerating his pride, “is a brothel?”

“I’m not Sylvain to just flirt my way into some stranger’s bed. Especially not like this.” He points at his ears.

“Hmm,” Dimitri says and, because he’s lacking in any sense of self-preservation, he reaches behind Felix’s ears and scratches them.

Short, blunt nails scrape against the sensitive skin of his ears. Felix closes his eyes and tilts his head, pleased when Dimitri understands to change the angle of his ministrations. It feels nice, like napping in the sunlight or chewing a tasty cut of meat. He’s almost boneless from it before he remembers where he is.

“Oi.” He grabs Dimitri’s wrist, freezing it in place. “What are you doing.” His tail swishes in warning.

“You used to be so easy to read when we were children,” Dimitri says, looking not at all concerned about Felix’s wrath. “I always knew when you were angry. When you were happy. When you were sad. But then we grew older and everything changed. I thought I would never understand you again. Not in that same easy way I did when we were children. But like this Felix, you’re so obvious you might as well be wearing a signpost.”

Felix releases his wrist and takes a step back. “Excuse me?”

“You can pretend all you want, but did you know your ears always turn in my direction? That your tail stands straight up when you see me? Not to mention how often it rubs against me. Oh, and before you attempt some misbegotten brothel visit, I won’t have you pretending you didn’t just purr for me when I touched your ears.”

This must be what it feels like to be flayed alive.

“You’re mistaken.”

Dimitri steps forward and lifts Felix’s chin up, forcing him to meet his eye. “I don’t think I am.”

Felix can’t stand him. He pulls Dimitri down and presses their lips together. Dimitri yields to him, parting his mouth for Felix’s tongue to dart in. So eager, and so pliant—Felix could get used to kissing Dimitri.

“You’re purring again,” Dimitri says sometimes later as he brushes the soft fur on Felix’s ears.

“Don’t point it out,” Felix snaps. The vibrations in his chest are as involuntary as everything else but in this case, even Felix can’t pretend he doesn’t know what it means when they start up at Dimitri’s touch. “You’re not just doing this to be helpful, are you? Because if that’s the case I don’t want your charity.”

“The things I want to do you Felix are not contingent on any spell.”

Felix’s purr thrums louder in response; Dimitri refrains from pointing it out, but his knowing smile pisses off Felix anyway. He kisses that annoying smile in retaliation—forcefully, the better to show his irritation.

They fumble their way to Felix’s bedroom, shucking off layers of their clothes as they go, until they’re nearly undressed when they reach Felix’s bed. With just the barest of coverings left, Felix stops Dimitri from going further, remembering one of the reasons he resigned himself to being cursed forever.

“What’s wrong?” Dimitri asks.

Felix’s ears flatten; he turns his head to the side.

“There’s another part to the spell.” He removes the last of his clothes, refusing to look at Dimitri’s reaction.

“May I?”

He has no idea what Dimitri is asking. It doesn’t matter. “Do as you like.”

A quiet, huff of air follows—not quite a laugh, but close enough.

Naturally, this angers Felix enough to turn his head with the intention to shoot Dimitri a withering glare, but the plan comes to a halt when Dimitri wraps his hand around Felix’s cock.

“Careful,” Felix breathes out.

“I’m sor—” Dimitri begins.

“Not you. My—did you not notice the barbs?”

“I did. They’re a bit hard to miss.” His fingers squeeze around the sharp points in proof.

“So you’re just a fool then.” The barbs are sharp enough to tear skin if they’re handled carelessly, as Felix unfortunately knows from experience.

“If it causes you discomfort, I’ll stop.” The barbs are unreasonably sensitive; Dimitri’s hold on them has him grasping at the bedsheets for purchase.

“It obviously doesn’t,” he spits out.

The barbs end before the head of his cock, leaving the tip safe for Dimitri to take into his mouth. The sensation has Felix bucking his hips up foolishly, thrusting further into Dimitri than he should.

“Shit.” Felix pulls Dimitri off his cock and inspects the damage—a few tiny cuts on his lips. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ve had worse wounds.”

“ _Dimitri_.”

“Fine, I’ll be more careful.”

How was he going to do that, exactly? Felix wants to ask but the answer is given quickly enough. He holds Felix’s hips down, leaving him powerless to so much as twitch against Dimitri as he laps at his cockhead.

The wet sounds of Dimitri’s mouth are almost drowned out by the incessant drumming of Felix’s purrs. He desperately wants to arch his back but he can’t move from the weight of Dimitri’s hand pinning him down. He settles for mussing up Dimitri’s hair for something to do with himself.

Where his tail isn’t halfway trapped underneath him it thrashes ever more wildly as he nears his peak. Just as he thinks he might finally be free of the curse, Dimitri pulls off of him with a loud pop and squeezes the base of his cock, denying him the chance to come.

Felix’s purring abruptly halts.

“Why did you stop?” he hisses.

Dimitri dares to look bashful, tapping his fingers together as he works up the nerve to say, “I would like to make lo—“

Felix kicks him—or tries to at least. Dimitri catches his foot and holds it in a reverent manner Felix doesn’t have the mental fortitude to unpack just then. “Say literally anything else.”

“Engage in coitus?”

Another kick, from the other foot this time. A miscalculation on his part as now Dimitri is holding both his legs and free to do what he pleases with them—like hold them apart.

“Just say _fuck_.”

“I would like to fuck you, Felix. If that’s agreeable to you.”

Felix covers his eyes and groans. What is wrong with him? Why does he find Dimitri’s embarrassing mixture of politeness and vulgarity arousing? His cock needs an intervention. This can’t be normal.

“Felix?”

“Damn you. Must you speak in such a manner?”

“But you said—“

“I was obviously wrong. I should deny your request until you learn to phrase it in a way I can stand. But then we might be here until I die of old age. Hmph.”

Dimitri lets go of his legs and bows his head. “Please, I beg of you to grant me forgiveness for my impasse, Your Grace.”

“Don’t mock me, _Your Majesty_.”

“I’m completely serious. However, I do wish to point out that Your Grace did twitch upon my request, so perhaps my phrasing didn’t go unappreciated.”

“Shut up.” Felix says before kissing him, keeping his tongue preoccupied from spouting more foolish nonsense.

In between their languid kisses, Felix directs him to a bottle of oil at his bedside.

Thick fingers press inside him, less preparing him and more another way to bring Felix pleasure. Dimitri is scarily perceptive to his desires, finding that spot within him that drives him wild as if drawn to it. An eerie calm settles over him as Dimitri adds a fourth finger to his hole; stretching him further than even the imitation cocks he owns do. He wonders, almost as if it’s not his own body he’s looking at, if Dimitri can fit his entire fist in. The thought of it sends him to the edge, the familiar feeling of release nearly at his reach—until Dimitri pulls out his fingers and denies it to him yet again.

“ _Dimitri_.”

“Hush,” Dimitri says, not sorry at all for teasing him.

Dimitri sheds his underclothes and slicks himself up in promise. It’s the first time Felix is able to really get a good look at it, and it’s even more massive than the glances he’s seen let on. Later, he’ll lavish it with the attention it deserves. But for now, he’s frustrated and impatient and all he cares about is reaching his own release.

Felix flips over onto his stomach and raises his ass in the air. His tail curves away from his hole, keeping out of the way as he presents himself to be mounted.

“Oh, Felix. Look at you.” Dimitri presses Felix’s hole with his thumb.

“Just hurry up, will you?”

Thankfully, Dimitri’s teasing ceases. He lines himself up until the blunt head of his cock presses against Felix’s hole. He expects Dimitri to push himself in, but instead, he grabs the base of Felix’s takes and _pulls_ , just as he did that day in the council room.

Felix yelps but the sound is strangely garbled through his purring. Like before, the feeling of being pulled by his tail is strangely pleasant, even more so now that it’s Dimitri pulling him _onto his cock_.

Somehow, he’s able to take the whole of Dimitri’s length. It almost surprises him when he reaches the end of it, simply because he can barely focus on anything but his tail. He assumes, now that Dimitri is fully seated, he’ll let go of it, but he doesn’t. He keeps holding Felix’s tail, keeping his ass up and in position as he begins to fuck into him. The rough handling brings with it a mixture of pain and pleasure that makes him wail and arch his back obscenely for relief.

His pleasure mounts, building up and up with each thrust. If Dimitri tries to deny it to him again, he’ll claw his remaining eye out.

He must say the threat aloud as Dimitri chuckles before biting his ear. The shock of it has Felix spilling onto his bedsheets.

His purrs calm down into something less wild. His strength leaves him, but it’s not a problem for Dimitri who continues to hold by his tail until he reaches his own climax and fills Felix with his seed.

The brute collapses carelessly on top of him when he’s done. Felix’s tail curls around him possessively.

Dimitri runs his hand through the fur. “You haven’t changed back.”

“It isn’t instant,” Felix grumbles. “What would be the point of the spell otherwise?”

“Oh. Hmm.”

“Wait a moment—is that why you kept denying me release?”

“Well. Maybe. Yes.”

“I can’t believe you. No—don’t try to kiss your way out of this!”

“But,” he pouts, “how was I to know?”

“You could have asked! And besides, why would you purposefully delay removing my curse!?”

“Because I remembered how you reacted when I pulled your tail before,” he says shamelessly.

“I can’t stand you.”

“Now that I know it won’t wear off for a while, there’s more I would like to try.” Dimitri’s cock twitches hopefully against him.

“Hmph. I suppose we have some time left. I did very much want to suck your cock.”

“Oh.” Despite calling him a boar for almost a decade he thinks if Dimitri was cursed he most certainly would be a dog with puppy-like eagerness. It’s too easy to imagine a tail wagging behind him.

Amused by his imagination, he licks Dimitri’s already hardening length, purring all the while.

_____

“Ah,” Annette says when he meets her for lunch, her eyes flickering to the top of his head where nothing but dark hair resides. “So you managed to, uh, fulfill the requirements to lift the spell.”

He takes a small sip of his tea. He prepared for this. He can say it with a straight face. “It actually just wore off on its own.”

“It just… wore off,” she says doubtfully.

“Yes.” He pretends to be highly interested in arranging the cut-up sandwich squares on his plate.

“Really.”

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?” He shoves a sandwich into his mouth petulantly.

"No, of course not. By the way, while I’m sure this isn’t related to anything at all, I thought I would mention there’s a lovebite on your neck.”

“What?” he screeches, scrambling to cover his neck before remembering his undershirt fully covers the markings Dimitri left on him.

Annette sips her tea in feigned innocence. “Just wore off, huh?”

“Shut up,” he growls without any heat.

She hums a little ditty he doesn’t recognize—probably an original. He’ll have to ask her to sing it for him sometime. “You know I ran into His Majesty on the way here. He seemed to be in a very good mood. I wonder why.”

He imagines if he still had a tail it would be swishing back and forth.

“I have no idea. Drink your tea before it gets cold.”

“Sure, sure,” she says. He doesn’t miss the way her lip quirks upwards before she takes a sip.

_Stupid Dimitri. Must he be so obvious?_

He doesn’t think for a moment that he might be obvious too.

**Author's Note:**

> how does Felix get cursed anyway? i'm partial to believing someone accidentally did it and then was too embarrassed to say anything about it 🙊


End file.
